- phone: rings
- me: no
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest
(Source: gaskarthseyebrows)
whenever my mom criticizes me i yell “it’s probably genetic” and run out of the room as fast as i can
(Source: tomlintum)
my cat sleeps in this box and i was seeing how far i could push it to the edge before he jumped out and
MY ALGEBRA TEACHER DRESSED AS A CHEERLEADER TODAY
HOW WAS I SUPPOSE TO TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY
(Source: whatsacanada)
i just realized that “never” is a contraction of “not ever”
and “blush” is a contraction of “blood rush”
also “studying” is a contraction of “student dying”
and “tit” is a contraction of “touch it”
(Source: growlithed)
How to successfully seduce someone:
Step 1. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )
Did you know that in Australia it’s five times more likely that you’ll pick a partner based on humour rather than looks so if you’re ugly but a hilarious motherfucker then you’re almost guaranteed love
yea but have u ever seen an ugly australian
i am waiting for an ugly australian to add their selfie to this post pls do it is beckoning you to tumblr fame









